Shit For Brains

The oldest kids in camp get to lay claim as the tastemakers and leaders of all of the other campers. The younger kids looked to the oldest kids to set the tone for the summer and as influencers the oldest could greatly improve the monotony of the camp routine. A weak group of oldest campers could make a summer less interesting and was a lost opportunity to earn the respect of others. But with this awesome responsibility comes knowing that if any camp staff or even younger campers want your coveted position on top they'll have to go through you and knock you down to get it. For this reason the oldest were also vulnerable.

Camp staff, particularly the groundskeepers were often comprised of ex-campers. They were freewheelers, rogues and almost completely unaffiliated. They could go and do what they wanted within reason - with little or no social repercussions. Operating nearly completely under the radar they were stealthy and outside all of the social structure of camp. But cross them and they will rise up -and unite as one - striking quickly and forcefully to get their revenge.

The circumstances of their vengeful acts were at times mysteries to me. I personally didn't have a beef with them or knew anyone who did. I suppose I wasn't connected enough to even have an opinion one way or the other. But somone in our bunk had done something to piss off the groundkeepers and their revenge was swift and dirty with a level of symbolism perhaps even they didn't understand. Upon our return from breakfast one morning we returned to our bunk to find a large dark moist patch in the very middle of our wooden floor. Where the floor had been worn down by countless footsteps and late night drunken camp counslers now lay a formidable shitstain partially covered by toilet paper used by the ass-ailant.  I suppose that it would've been even weirder if he hadn't wiped - after all he wasn't THAT uncouth. At some level it might've been a little better if he had maybe wiped and then placed the used toilet paper in a wastepaper basket so that nothing would obscure the simple vileness of the shit. It wasn't a log or even loose but must've been a log at some point having perhaps been stepped in or spread out so as to create an even greater mess that would then have to be scrubbed and cleaned up. This act needed to present more of an inconvenience than just a sweeping the tube of shit into the wastebasket without so much as a wrinkled nose by the unlucky camper forced into duty.

As adolescent pre-teens we didn't really understand the completeness of the affront being paid to us. Once we discovered what we were looking at (it didn't smell nearly as bad as it should have, something I'm sure the perpetrator regretted) most of us screamed "Gross!" or "That is sooooo disgusting!" or the like. But to take a crap in someone else's living quarters is the ultimate slap in the face that shows that not only do you not care about being somewhere you shouldn't but that you completly do not respect the true occupiers of the living quarters and show this disrespect by taking a huge crap on their floor. Understanding the true enormitiy of this "dis" would've only escalated things perhaps even sending our summer spinning out of control. Ignorance is bliss maybe.