Knights of the Tube

A talking car, how quaint! Not that many people realize that Dr. Mark Craig of St. Elsewhere was living a double life as a man trapped inside a souped-up Camaro or whatever that car is supposed to be. These types of shows and ideas are just some of the wholesome programming that has been pushed off the screen to make room for the Reality TV juggernaut. I like how in the ad they demonstrate the unusual angles that the car can handle by showing it on the track upside down over Hasselhoff's head. I do think it's a little strange at how psyched about this new game Michael Knight appears to be. Like he would run home and play with the toy rather than drive William Daniels around. But check out that mega-watt smile! The soundtrack for these games aimed at kids is priceless. Who's doing those background vocals? Are these out of work stage actors? I'm just imagining a studio of middle-aged gay men with well-trimmed moustaches dancing while they sing "Rough Riders' Imposs-ibles" I think the ad should have ended with Hasselhoff saying, "Hey, KITT this set is really SOMETHIN'" and then Dr. Craig answering with "It sure is Michael, now get your fat ass off of my hood."

Budwhite

What could be funnier than white people trying to be black people and doing an extremely poor job of it? That's what this take off on the original Budweiser "WASSUP?!?" commercial is all about. The white people in this ad aren't even drinking Bud after all - they're having an "import" whatever that is, although they look suspiciously like a Heineken or a Beck's. What's interesting is that they threw the Indian guy in there which makes me think these people are MIT Sloan grads or something and not just white guys from Connecticut, home from their jobs at Goldman Sachs, watching the Market recap. Obviously Bud is for real men who subscribe to the "boys will be boys" credo and the imports in the green bottles must therefore be for nancy boys. I think the best part is how the white guys answer the phone with a "This is Brett.." or whatever their name is instead of a simple "hello". I guess the idea here is that it might be their boss calling them at home and they want to seem eager and awake. I do like the ad within an ad idea though. The guys from the original ad watching TV (having a Bud) and an ad that makes fun of Budweiser's competitors. True.

Budwater

"Wassup?!" itself is a stupid nonsense word more like an animal sound or something. But the ad, I must say, is pretty good. Budweiser just wants to show that their beer is for the average younger man who may not live alone or be in a committed relationship and is still hanging out with college friends who have an endless supply of inside, esoteric jokes. Tie this idea together with this demo's interest in watching sports and the connection seems pretty solid. They're saying our beer is right for you if this is who you are - and people loved this ad when it first came out. To see people on TV behaving as anyone else would can be funny if taken out of context. When this ad took off in popularity it was broadcast more often such that it eventually became annoying to no end. Consequently, if anyone or if any of your friends or co-workers tried to recreate this "Wassup?!" sound "as seen in the ad" they were instantly branded as total wankers - and justifiably so.

Hobo Is As Hobo Does

Yeah ok, he's "America's Happiest Hobo" but those who knew the real Burl Ives knew he was built like a drum and liked to drink and fight. The people who produced this ad probably were smart in leaving that part out. Ives often "talked smack" when it came to rival "hobo singers" and was prone to drunken fights when his own skills were called into question. At times merciless and often short-tempered, Ives' fighting style might be described as Mike Tyson-esque. Tough and vicious, Burl often didn't know when to "say when" such that his drinking fueled his fighting and vice versa. An acquaintance of Burl's who had him as a party guest got in a fight with him and remarked, "The next day after we got into the fight I met up with Burl and we set things straight. Then he told me that the next time I had guests like him and his wife over that I should serve drinks with glass bottoms so that I can see who's coming at me." As you can see the Rock 'n Roll lifestyle wasn't restricted to the likes of Jon Bonham and Joe Elliott but was also the domain of "Happy Hobos".

Freak Flags

This is extremely disturbing. Clearly someone let Grandpa out of The Home without his medication. And what's with the old 1960's era bus re-painted and re-done? Does this old bus seemingly became injected with steroid-performance-enhancer as well and do like 140mph on the way to the park? One of these days this old guy is going to have a heart attack while doing his funny crack-cocaine infueled dance and these regular working class people will be really sorry that they didn't live more fun lives.

No Beef Here

At long last I've found it! My dreams have come true! This ad haunts my dreams. This kind of reminds me of a certain Simpsons episode that made fun of catch phrases. I believe it was an episode where Bart appears on Krusty's show, messes up and then says "I didn't do it." The live studio audience goes wild with laughter and "I didn't do it" became a wild catchphrase that is repeated by everyone from newscasters to Moms at the supermarket. The phenomenon even spawns a group called the " I Didn't Do It" dancers. Why weren't there "Where's the Beef?" dancers? There should've been. Although these dancers couldn't be young Solid Gold-types but more "seasoned", perhaps retired ex-Ziegfeld follies folks looking to reclaim past glory. But alas, Clara Peller knew fame too late in life to do anything about it.